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Hadeeth 9: The Rights Deserving To A Wife From Her Husband
Narrated from Hakeem Ibn Muʿāwiyah from his father (radiyallāhu anhumā) who said:
يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا حَقُّ زَوْجَةِ أَحَدِنَا عَلَيْهِ
“Messenger of Allah, what is the right of a wife over her husband?” He replied:
أَنْ تُطْعِمَهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَتَكْسُوَهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ – أَوِ اكْتَسَبْتَ – وَلاَ تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْهَ وَلاَ تُقَبِّحْ وَلاَ تَهْجُرْ إِلاَّ فِي الْبَيْتِ
“That you should give her food when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself. And do not strike her on the face; and do not revile her nor boycott her except that you remain in the house.”
(Reported by Abu Dāwud (2143), An-Nasā’ee in Al-Kubrā (11431) and Ibn Mājah (1850). Shaikh Al-Albāni graded the narration hasan-saheeh in his checking of Sunan Abī Dāwūd)
Benefits and lessons:
1. Abu Dawood added a comment saying: Do not say to her قَبَّحَكِ اللَّهُ “May Allah disfigure you, make you ugly”.
2. A man is obligated to care for his wife, and not leave her unattended and unprotected, without food, clothing and shelter. Women are vulnerable and can be exploited by oppressive and ignorant men, so the men who marry them are obligated to care for them as they would do for themselves.
3. A man must provide for his wife, and she is not obligated to provide for him. He is the breadwinner, and goes out to work – the wife or daughters should not be expected to work and provide for the household.
4. If a woman sees that her husband is struggling and finding it hard to meet the financial needs of the home, and so requests her help by adding some of her wealth to his, then if she aids him, it is good, rewardable and praiseworthy, and a great form of sadaqah on her behalf.
5. If a wife upsets her husband and causes him anguish, he should not resort to striking her face or harming her physically. ʿA’ishah (Allah be pleased with her):
مَا ضَرَبَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ خَادِمًا لَهُ وَلَا امْرَأَةً وَلَا ضَرَبَ بِيَدِهِ شَيْئًا
“The Messenger of Allah (salallāhu ʿalaihi wasallam) never struck a servant, nor a woman, and he never struck anyone with his hand.” (Muslim, no. 2328, Ibn Mājah no. 1984)
And the best approach and example is that of the Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam).
6. If a man experiences bad manners, disobedience from her, and neglect of her responsibilities such that his reminders and admonitions do not bring about rectification in her, he may boycott her in the bed, by not approaching her or touching her affectionately. And he is allowed to boycott her in the home by not speaking to her for a while, but he should not abandon the marital house altogether.
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